


Kiss Of Midnight

by Of_stars_and_moon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drunken Kiss, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-24 10:45:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17702897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_stars_and_moon/pseuds/Of_stars_and_moon
Summary: What happened?! He had just kiss Remus! He just kissed his best friend! He sat down on his bed and ran his hands through his hair. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he stop thinking of the feeling of Remus' lips on his? Why was there a part of him that wished that the kiss should have been longer? What was going on with him?





	1. The Christmas Party

The Christmas party was in full swing in the Gryffindor common room. Everyone who had stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays was here, including some Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. 

 

The party was the idea of the Marauders, who had also stayed here for the holidays, as it was their second last Christmas at Hogwarts. They had even nicked some firewhiskey from Hogsmeade. 

 

Sirius was leaning against a wall. He had consumed a good amount of firewhiskey and he felt relaxed. He wondered where Remus was. He didn't know why but he loved being around Remus, leaning against his shoulder or putting his head in Remus' lap while the other would stroke his hair. 

 

He walked around looking for Remus and found him by a corner, talking to some girl and laughing. He looked really drunk. The girl was looking at him seductively, leaning too close.

 

Sirius couldn't understand the emotions he felt at the moment. It was like a weird guy-wrenching feeling. He didn't like seeing them standing so closely and the girl didn't seem good enough for Remus.

 

He walked to them. "Remus?" 

 

Remus turned to him, smiling brightly. "Sirius! Where were you?" 

 

It was obvious that Remus was very very drunk "I was just around here. Are you enjoying the party?" 

 

Remus nodded enthusiastically. "Ya, 'm lovin' it." 

 

Sirius carefully took the bottle from Remus' hand. "It's really late, let's go upstairs, yeah?" He held Remus arm, walking away from the girl, who looked quite annoyed.

 

Remus pouted at him. "But it's Christmas party and it is so fun," he whined.

 

"I know it's fun. But it's past midnight. You need some rest," Sirius replied softly and they walked up the stairs, Remus leaning on Sirius. They entered the dorm room and Sirius helped Remus sit on the bed.

 

Remus closed his eyes. "'m sooo tired," he mumbled. 

 

Sirius himself felt slight dizzy. He took off Remus' shoes. "Let's get you changed into night clothes, okay?" he asked.

 

Remus opened his eyes. "Want to undress me, huh?" he asked in a flirtatious tune. 

 

Sirius didn't understand why his cheeks suddenly felt hot. It was probably due to the firewhiskey. He shook his head, smiling as he started unbuttoning Remus' shirt. 

 

As he undid the third button, Remus spoke, voice husky, "Sirius?" 

 

Sirius looked up, fingers still holding Remus' shirt. "Yeah?" 

 

Remus was smiling at him sleepily. "Why are you so nice to me??" 

 

Sirius chuckled. "You're drunk, Moony." 

 

"Are you nice to me only 'cuz 'm drunk." Remus pouted and Sirius stared at Remus' lips for a moment before looking up into his eyes. 

 

"You really need to get some sleep, y'know."

 

Remus didn't answer. He was staring at Sirius and there was something in his eyes that Sirius couldn't understand. Remus' gaze shifted down to Sirius' lips before he leaned forward and pressed his soft lips to Sirius'. Sirius froze for a moment, heart racing furiously, before he tilted his head into the kiss, closing his eyes as Remus kissed him deeply. Remus brought his hands up to cup the side of Sirius' neck and Sirius grabbed Remus' shirt, pulling him closer, his other hand resting on Remus' waist. It felt like he was floating on clouds. The feeling of Remus' lips against his felt like a dream. 

 

When they finally pulled back, Sirius' mind was spinning and his pulse was beating erratically.

 

Remus' eyes closed and his head fell down on Sirius' shoulder which meant that he fell asleep.

 

Sirius made him lay down and walked to his own bed, hands trembling and heart pounding in his chest. 

 

What happened?! He had just kiss Remus! He just kissed his best friend! He sat down on his bed and ran his hands through his hair. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he stop thinking of the feeling of Remus' lips on his? Why was there a part of him that wished that the kiss should have been longer? What was going on with him?

 

Remus stirred in his sleep and shivered. Forgetting about his mental crisis, Sirius quickly got up and put a blanket over Remus. He sat on the side of Remus' bed, taking in Remus' sight. His messy brown hair was falling over his forehead, his freckled cheeks were flushed due to the alcohol, his reds lips were slightly parted and his chest heaved with steady breaths. He looked beautiful. The realisation hit him like a brick. 

 

He was in love with Remus! It all made sense now. Why he always loved being around Remus. Why Remus' smile or laugh always made him so happy. Why he didn't like Remus being with the girl. Why he had liked kissing Remus so much and why he wanted to do it again.

 

No. No. No. He wasn't supposed to fall in love with Remus. He would screw everything up. He would ruin their friendship forever. He almost lost Remus due to 'The Prank' in fifth year. He wasn't going to do something reckless and stupid again. 

 

And it's not like Remus loved him back. He was so drunk, he probably didn't even realize what he did.. or more specifically what he did to Sirius. He may not even remember anything tomorrow and maybe that would be a good thing. Sirius could also pretend that he didn't remember anything and maybe things would be normal. Because no matter how much he wanted to be with Remus he didn't want to screw things between them. 

 

He went to his own bed, mind racing with thoughts. After a long time, he drifted into a restless sleep.

 

\---- 

 

Remus woke up with a severe headache. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and looked around the room. There was no one other, though the sound from the shower indicated that someone was in the bathroom.

 

He rubbed his temples and thought back to the memories of yesterday. He remembered the party, remembered talking to some girl, remembered someone- Sirius bringing him up here, helping him sit on the bed. And---- 

 

Fuck!

 

He had kissed Sirius! 

 

A sharp pain ripped through his forehead. He put his head in his hands. That couldn't have happened.

 

Since some months ago, when he had realized that he loved Sirius, he was so careful to not let anyone know and to not make a mistake and now he had fucked everything up. 

 

He barely remembered Sirius kissing him back or was his mind making that part up. But, Sirius was drunk too, if not that much maybe he had just kissed Remus back because he wasn't thinking clearly. What if he would have woken up and remembered the kiss. Did he hate Remus? Was everything going to fall apart?

 

The bathroom door opened and Remus looked up to see Sirius coming out of the bathroom, hair slightly damp with water and eyes red-rimmed like he hadn't got enough sleep. He froze for a second before walking to Remus' bed. 

 

"Hungover?" he asked. 

 

Remus nodded, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart.

 

Sirius fiddled through his drawer and handed a vial to Remus. "Here, this will help." 

 

Remus took it muttering a quite, "Thanks," and drank it.

 

Did Sirius remember the kiss or not? He wasn't that drunk yesterday, and if Remus remembered it, maybe Sirius did too. "What happened yesterday?" Remus asked, trying to keep his voice casual. 

 

"How much do you remember?" Sirius asked and if Remus wouldn't have been that nervous, he might have heard the tremor in his voice. 

 

"Not much," Remus lied. "I kinda remember the party. Not anything much after that."

 

"Oh- Alright," Sirius said. Why did he look slightly relieved?

 

"What happened after the party•••I mean•••Who brought me here?" He had to know if Sirius remembered the kiss or not.

 

Sirius bit his lower lip before answering, "••um••I•••I am not sure•••I also don't remember much•••Maybe Prongs or me." 

 

Remus should have been relieved after hearing that, but there was still a part of him that was still unsure. It felt like Sirius remembered and he was lying, like he wanted to pretend that it never happened. Remus didn't know what to believe. He had never felt so lost in his life before.

 

"Alright, well." Sirius' voice shook him out of his thoughts. "I think Peter and James are either in the great hall or passed out in the common room•••um••I'll go and check them." And with that he left the room, leaving Remus to his own thoughts.


	2. Dearest of desires

As Remus went to the great hall, the rest of the Marauders were already sitting there. James and Peter were sitting on one side and Sirius on the other with a vacant seat besides him.

 

"Hey, Moony," James greeted him. 

 

"Hey, Prongs. You and Peter feeling any better?" he asked, as he sat besides Sirius.

 

They both nodded. 

 

"Hey, Remus, pass the pumpkin juice," Sirius said. As Remus passed the juice to Sirius, their fingers brushed and Sirius' hand flinched slightly. 

 

Remus' heart dropped into his stomach. Did Sirius remember last night? Was he pretending that he didn't remember anything because he wanted to forget about it? Was he disgusted with Remus?

 

James started talking about the upcoming Quidditch match and Remus joined him, trying to distract himself from his thoughts.

 

\---

 

At the end of the day, Remus was sure that Sirius did remember the kiss. He should have been relieved that at least Sirius hadn't talked about it and stopped being his friend but it still killed him. Sirius flinched away when they accidentally touched, didn't spend time with him, or even when they were together, he would be awfully quite, he didn't lean his head on Remus' shoulder as he used to. 

 

Remus wasn't sure what was worse, loosing Sirius or knowing that Sirius probably hated him.

 

\----

 

Sirius' life had changed dramatically. Till 25th December, everything was normal. Remus was one of his best friends, they spent most of their time together, talking and laughing or sometimes just sitting in comfortable silence. 

 

One kiss. One kiss was all it took to turn Sirius' world upside down. Nothing was the same now. He couldn't touch Remus without feeling a shiver down his spine, he couldn't talk to Remus without his eyes drifting to Remus' lips or without stuttering, he couldn't be too close to Remus without having the desperate urge to reach out and run his hand through Remus' hair or caress the scar running from his jawbone down his neck or just jump on him and snog him. 

 

So, he did the only thing that seemed to help. He avoided Remus. He spent most of his time roaming around the castle. Sometimes he would sit along the Black Lake or in the astronomy tower. Sitting alone gave him a lot of time to think. And, Sirius Black had now realized two things.

 

Firstly- He was crazily, madly, deeply, totally, head over heels in love with Remus Lupin.

 

Secondly- His mind was a scary place lately because it kept thinking of things that would never happen and it kept making Sirius think of crazy ideas like 'What if I tell Remus about the kiss?', 'What if I just kiss him? Would he freak out?', 'What if I tell him that I love him?' 

 

Sirius knew all these ideas were stupid and would ruin everything, so he pushed them way. 

 

But right now, as he finished drinking the fourth firewhiskey bottle, he couldn't bring himself to care about the fact that this was a very very bad idea. He wanted to relax for sometime. It was New Year, the Marauders were sitting in a circle in their dorm room, paying truth or dare. Seriously, of all games, James had suggested fucking truth or dare and Sirius had no choice but to play.

 

After some rounds the bottle stopped on Remus. "Okay, Remus. Truth or dare?" 

 

"Truth," Remus replied, leaning back on the foot of his bed.

 

James thought for sometime before asking, "How many girls and boys have you kissed?"

 

Remus took a swig of his drink. "I don't know•••maybe one or two girls and three or four boys," he answered, looking at the ceiling and Sirius' heart stopped beating for a moment. 

Before Sirius could think much about it, James turned the bottle again and it stopped on Sirius. "Truth or dare?" James asked.

 

"Truth," Sirius replied. His mind was too dizzy for a dare. 

 

"Okay, Same question." 

 

"Huh?" Sirius stared at James with wide eyes.

 

"Same question," James repeated. "How many girls and boys have you kissed?" 

 

Sirius' mouth went dry. "•••um•••Four or five girls, I guess•••and•••I am not sure•• Maybe••• Nah, no boy.. Just four or five girls," he lied, unaware of Remus' gaze on him.

 

James turned the bottle again and the game continued.

 

After several rounds they were all too tired for a dare, so it was just a game of truth and truth.

 

Peter went to sleep first and then James also got up and went to his bed.

 

"So it's just the two of us now," Remus said, mumbled.

 

Sirius hummed in agreement. "Alright, Moony. Truth or truth?" 

 

Remus rolled his eyes. "Truth." 

 

The reasonable part of Sirius' mind was shouting that he should just ask some casual question. But, a drunk Sirius Black never made good decisions. "When did you figure out that you like boys?"

 

Remus bit his lower lip. "••uh••Few months ago."

 

"Oh... Alright."

 

"You were about to admit that you had kissed a boy," Remus said. "You remember Christmas night, don't you?" 

 

Sirius thought about lying, but his mind wasn't thinking properly and Remus was looking at him intensely with those magical amber eyes. Sirius licked his lips and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I do. You remember that too?" 

 

Remus took a deep breath and nodded. Sirius looked down at his hand. Remus remembered the kiss. Was it possible that he would have figured out Sirius' feelings towards him?

 

"Do you hate me?" 

 

Sirius' head snapped to look at Remus. That was not what he had expected.

 

"Wha- No! Of course not! What made you think so?" 

 

"You- You've been acting so awkward around me lately. You've been avoiding me. You flinch everytime we touch. I know that you are disgusted by me. There's no need to pretend otherwise," Remus said, voice trembling.

 

"I don't hate you!" Sirius exclaimed. "It's••It's not like that."

 

"Then what it is?" Remus asked, desperation in his voice. "Why are you acting like this then?" 

 

"•••I••When we kissed•••I realized that••that you weren't just a friend to me••You were so much more•••I realized that I was in love with you and that's why-"

 

"Wait- what- What did you say?" Remus was looking at him in disbelief.

 

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "You're going to make me say it again? Alright. I fucking love you Remus! And that's why I have been avoiding you because I can't be around you without wanting to snog you-" His words cut off as Remus' lips pressed to his in a passionate kiss. Remus' hand came up to cup the back of Sirius' neck, fingers tangling in his hair. Sirius kissed Remus back, slipping his arm around Remus' waist.

 

They pulled back after sometime, both breathless. "Why didn't you ever say something?" Remus asked. 

 

Sirius, left dazed by the kiss, frowned. "•••I•••I didn't want you to feel awkward towards me."

 

Remus hit his arm repeatedly "You. Bloody. Idiot."

 

Sirius stared at him in confusion.

 

"When I kissed you, wasn't it obvious that I love you?" Remus stated.

 

"I thought you were dru- Wait! You love me?!" 

 

"Of course I love you. You stu-" Sirius jumped on him, making Remus fall back on the floor, with Sirius on top of him and kissed him deeply.

 

As they pulled apart, Sirius leaned his forehead against Remus', smiling down at him. It was still unbelievable. Remus loved him back and it was not some dream or fantasy. 

 

"Happy New Year, Re."

 

"Happy New Year, Pads." 

 

'When I look into your eyes  
I know I have found the mirror of my own soul'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love!!


End file.
